


We're Not Ok

by Writingwife83



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship/Love, Kissing, Post-Reichenbach, Sherlock Holmes and Feelings, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5885743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writingwife83/pseuds/Writingwife83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some good old classic post Reichenbach emotions as Sherlock spends a bit of time at Molly's flat before going off to battle Moriarty's network. Inspired by the song "Pills" by The Perishers, and written as a prompt fill for lais89. (On FF)</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Not Ok

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, readers! It's been a little while, but I'm finally posting something new. This is a prompts from lais89 who wanted something based on a song by The Perishers, and I settled on "Pills." (A tiny bit of the lyrics are quoted below) Please have a listen if you don't know it already because it's quite a lovely and feelsy song. The tone of the lyrics inspired where I went with this one shot. I enjoyed it because it's been a while since I wrote any post Riechenbach stuff. Always fun! ;)  
> And thank you, Lexie, for giving it a peek beforehand! Me and my POV flip flopping lol...thanks for the needed assistance. ;D

_"...One may think we're alright_

_but we need pills to sleep at night_

_we need lies to make it through the day_

_we're not ok..."_

It was like torture for Molly, having to continue working her shift as if nothing was wrong. She knew that it was only a matter of time before some kind soul would come to the lab and tell her the sad news. She honestly couldn’t wait. At least once that happened she’d be able to break down and would surely be allowed to go home early. Nobody would be cruel enough to expect her to do intake for Sherlock’s body.

It was almost two hours after his fall that Mike Stamford finally came to tell her. As soon as she saw his face she felt guilty for wishing this moment to happen. She’d never seen the poor man so horrified and broken. He was the first person she had to lie to, to deceive and at the thought of it, her lip began quivering and her eyes filled. She sobbed on his shoulder and asked ‘why’ over and over again, almost needing no effort at all to make it real.

He said that Sherlock’s body would likely be off to the funeral home by some time the next day. Little needed to be done, seeing as there were witnesses to the horrible event. Certainly no need to confirm suicide. So as expected, Mike urged her to go home and take the next day off as well, saving her the trauma of seeing the corpse of the man she loved. She acted hesitant at first, as if unsure about whether she wanted to see him or not, but finally tearfully agreed to head home. She thanked Mike for his care and concern and made her exit.

Once she was closer to her flat, she made a stop to get some Chinese take away. Sherlock surely wouldn’t touch it…but just in case. Toby wasn’t rushing to the door of her flat when she opened it. He was likely in his hiding place under the sofa. The other indication that Sherlock was definitely there was when she walked down her hallway and smelled the bath products from the still steamy washroom. Yes, he’d been here at least an hour already.

Molly eased her bedroom door open to see Sherlock reclined against her headboard and typing away at his phone. Well, not his phone. A new phone, no doubt provided by Mycroft. He barely raised his still slightly damp head to look over at her.

“They sent you home early. Not surprising.”

Molly nodded. “I um, got some take away for later.” No response. “If you want,” she added quietly.

After realizing that Sherlock wasn’t going to chat at the moment, she grabbed a change of clothes and left the bedroom to freshen up and get comfortable. Her heart hurt a bit as she walked in and saw what would look to anyone like a very real smear of blood on the tap. There was something almost pitiful about the mental image of Sherlock cleaning himself up all alone at her flat. She wiped the sink clean and got changed before she could let her emotions linger and take hold.

It was barely afternoon, and now Molly honestly didn’t know what to do with herself and this time off. She glanced towards her kitchen. Tea. That seemed like the proper thing she should be doing. She’d figure out the rest as she went along. 

* * *

The sound of Molly’s mobile ringing brought Sherlock down the hall when he heard it. “Who is it?”

Molly lifted the phone and showed him the name on the screen. John W.

Sherlock gave her the answer before she could ask the question. “Answer it. Don’t give him a reason to come over and check on you.”

Molly nodded and quickly picked up the call. "Hello?" Her voice broke a bit, which was from nerves, but it worked nicely.

Sherlock leaned on the door frame, crossing his arms and listening to the one-sided conversation carefully.

“Yeah…I already know,” Molly whispered sadly. “No, Mike told me…I’m home now. He sent me home. I think he didn’t want me to have to see-” She stopped and sniffled a little, adding to her convincing performance, which earned her a small smile of approval from the detective who was himself a frighteningly accomplished actor.

“No no, I’m ok, I promise,” she said in a shaky voice and threw in a couple more sniffles. “I’ll be fine. What about you?”

John answered Molly the best he could, and she looked up at Sherlock as he did. Their gaze stayed connected as Molly listened to John’s broken words, and something of the doctor’s hurt must have reflected through her brown eyes since Sherlock soon looked away.

“Did he?” Molly asked, finally speaking again.

Sherlock looked at her again, clearly wondering what John was saying now.

“I see,” she said softly. “No, don’t be sorry. I’m glad you told me, honestly. That um…that means a lot actually.” Molly nodded again as she listened. “Ok, yeah. Well call me anytime if you need to. Ok, I will. And thanks for telling me, John. Ok, bye.” She set the mobile down and let out a heavy breath.

“What did he tell you?” Sherlock asked after a moment of weighty silence.

Molly cleared her throat. “He um, said that you told him to tell me goodbye.”

Sherlock chuckled lightly.

Molly frowned, as this was no time to laugh. “What?”

“I didn’t tell him that. I told him something completely different.” The laughter was gone and Sherlock became serious as he went on. “I told him to tell you, along with my other friends…that I’m a fraud and a liar.”

Molly felt tears instantly spring to her eyes. There was so much that was painful about that simple detail. Not only that Sherlock made that the parting message to his dearest friends, but that John chose not to share it, clearly indicating the fact that John himself didn’t believe it. He probably didn’t doubt Sherlock for even a moment. He likely agonized about whether to tell anyone else that this was what Sherlock said. But in the end, he just couldn’t bring himself to, and instead chose to let Sherlock’s friends believe that he was simply thinking of them in his final moments.

“The plague of sentiment,” Sherlock whispered with a slight smirk. “He couldn’t even accurately pass on my final message.”

Molly sniffed genuinely this time and swiped at her eyes quickly. “Sorry,” she muttered and looked away, knowing that Sherlock didn’t want to deal with her emotions along with everything else he had to worry about.

After a moment of silence, she looked back to the doorway and Sherlock was gone, confirming to her that he wanted nothing to do with the storm raging inside her. She sighed slowly and picked up her tea to finish it.

But the tea was cold now, and it seemed to her that there was nothing much left to warm her.

* * *

Molly was surprised when she woke in the middle of the night and realized that Sherlock was next to her in the bed, sitting up and staring straight ahead. He had earlier insisted on not needing the bed that night, explaining that he wouldn’t be sleeping anyway.

“Sherlock?” Molly whispered as she pushed herself up on her pillow a bit. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said, still staring ahead. “I just despise sitting on your cheap sofa.”

“Oh.” Molly leaned on her elbows, looking around and wondering what to do now. She was instantly wide awake and couldn’t imagine curling up again and drifting off to sleep.

"Mycroft sent me a text,” he added.

“Oh? What did he say?”

“He’s arranged a private jet tomorrow.”

“Oh, good,” Molly answered automatically, but felt the words get caught in her throat a little. That was awfully fast. Just like that, and he’d be gone.

“I will be back,” Sherlock added, as if he’d just read her mind.

Molly didn’t want to sound like a little child and follow it up with a desperate sounding “when?” So instead she said nothing and smiled at him in the dimly moonlit room before looking away again. His next softly spoken question surprised her.

“Will you be alright?”

Molly looked up at him again and swallowed hard. “Yeah…I won’t tell anyone, I already promised.”

“I didn’t ask if you were going to tell anyone, I already know you won’t,” he clarified, his eyes piercing as they looked down into hers. “I asked about you.”

Molly shrugged, trying to ignore the magnetic pull she was feeling in his direction. “I’ll be fine,” she breathed out. “Don’t worry about me.”

Sherlock nodded, but a moment later, without warning, he leaned down and kissed her squarely on the lips.

It was all stillness at first. His mouth made contact, but then just stayed cemented in place on hers. Molly was equally unmoving, simply from the shock. Very slowly though, his lips parted a bit and took firmer hold of hers, which she naturally reciprocated. The pleasant little exchange of words unspoken went on for a few lovely seconds. Finally, Sherlock pulled away, but only by a fraction of an inch. Enough to separate their lips, but no further than that. Molly slowly opened her eyes, seeing his face still hovering over hers. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet and seemed frozen in time, probably processing something…or more likely everything. She considered whether she should just reach up and close that half inch between them again. But then he opened his eyes.

“Why did you do that?” Molly whispered.

Sherlock’s gaze darted from her eyes to her lips, looking almost shocked at the reality that his own mouth had just made itself at home right there. He cleared his throat. “It…it seemed like the right thing to do.”

Molly’s heart sank as he spoke the words and then lifted himself to sit against the headboard again. That was exactly what she didn’t want; a pity kiss on his way out of town.

“Well you didn’t have to do it.” Her voice was small but noticeably hardened. “I really am fine,” she lied.

“I know.”

Molly looked up at him again, sitting there exactly as he had been before, leaning on the headboard with his arms crossed over his middle as he stared straight ahead.

“I meant that it seemed like the right thing to do because...” He paused as Molly held her breath. “Because tonight, I’m dead.”

Molly’s brow furrowed a bit as one of his arms left its place across his stomach and came to rest on the bed, and his fingers found her hand to take soft but deliberate hold of it. His voice was low and soothing when he spoke again, albeit rather haunting.

"A dead man can do what he wants.”

It took her a moment to understand his meaning, but she finally did. Holding his hand in the dark, Molly smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one, and please make me smile with a review if you have a chance. :) I may not be posting much too often right now because I'm currenlty working on a remix of one of my fics for the Sherlolly Remix Challenge. (Details on tumblr at sherlollybigbangmod dot tumblr dot com) I won't go into plot detail, but I'm remixing Winds of Change. I'm having a ton of fun with it already, so I look forward to sharing that with everyone...whenever I finish it lol! No promises how soon that'll be! ;D


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